Thank You

Thank You For The Validation

When you put yourself out there by sharing your story and your truth, it’s inevitable that someone will try to discredit, undermine, gaslight, and bully you back into silence. Within the cult I left, the only option is to discredit the victim, otherwise they have to really take a long hard look at their world, their leaders and acknowledge the abuse and oppression going on.  That’s too hard, and would tear their whole playhouse down. So, the only option is to silence the whistle blower.

Today, I’d like to publicly thank someone who is going out of her way to undermine, gaslight and silence me after my recent post, Purity Culture’s Dirty Little Secret.  Yes, you read that right, I’d like to THANK her. So, Kathy, this is for you. Thank you for so strongly validating how necessary my work is here on this blog. Women like you, who can read a story of sexual abuse, and go to extreme measures to undermine the validity of the story and in so doing protect the disgusting sexual predator are just as guilty of abuse. YOUR behavior is abuse. These are things I’m fighting against daily, and my work is so far from done.

There is so much power in the truth, and when you share it, it speaks to the right people, and triggers the wrong people. My post actually spoke to multiple women who came to my inbox sharing their own experiences of abuse within your cult. Women you know, and some you don’t know. Some even confirmed I wasn’t my abusers only victim. Each of these women know, after chatting with me, that I’m going to do whatever it takes to protect them. I’ll defend them when people like you, who are hell bent on gaslighting and bullying, come at them. So, thank you for giving me a public way to show them firsthand that I won’t be bullied into silence. You only gave me fuel to crank up my volume.

Lastly, thank you for reaching out to our old mutual friend. The irony of this is not lost on me in the least. You sought validation for your own FALSE beliefs about me, but instead all you did was reignite a childhood friendship between her and me. Her response to your message telling her about my blog post was EXACTLY what it should be. She immediately reached out, not questioning my story a bit. Unlike you, she instead messaged me directly and said, “I support you. I love you. Call me”. She didn’t play your bully game and go behind my back and try to undermine me to an old mutual friend. She heard from your mouth that I publicly shared a story of sexual abuse from within your cult, (where we all 3 grew up) and she didn’t question the victim. She didn’t victim shame. She BELIEVED the victim! So, thank you for reaching out to her even if your motives were FAR from honorable.  For you see, if you hadn’t, I never would have rekindled my friendship with that person. The countless hours she and I have spent catching up since your stunt has been amazing and so needed for both of us. Women support women in my world, and it’s incredible. You should try it sometime.

I’ll close with these thoughts. When I was made aware of what you had done, yes, I was angry but not the least bit surprised you did that, considering the stunt you pulled on my social media earlier this year, and again on a social post of ANOTHER mutual friend. (Don’t look now, but you kinda have a pattern.) Even in the midst of my initial anger, the most incredible thing happened. I closed my eyes in an effort to calm myself, and instantly saw ALL the women I have surrounding me in my life that love me, support me and encourage me daily. I saw my husband there with me beside those women. My circle of support. My circle of survivors. In that moment I knew how strong I was with them by me. I felt immensely empowered. Your abusive behavior actually fueled my mission more than you can comprehend. I’m so thankful that I have this opportunity to let these women see that I won’t be shut up when an abuser comes at me or them. I’ll actually just get louder. I’m a freakin’ momma bear for these women in my community, and not you or any other abusive, gaslighting bully will EVER silence us.  Women support women in my world. Here we listen, learn, grow, heal, create change, protect and believe. We empower, we support and we absolutely do NOT tear each other down. This community has no tolerance for hate…especially the hate and the oppression of women. It’s a wonderful SAFE space. If that’s not what you want for your life, then kindly, move along, and leave me AND my community alone.

 

Sincerely,

Heather

6 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *